FUCKED UP FRIDAYS

“AMERICAN MARKO” & “E.U MIKE”: The Paternity Conundrum

Ever wondered if you have a long lost brother and/or sister that you don't know about? Whatever you'd like to believe about the fidelity of your parents, the probability of you having a “secret sibling” is most likely higher than you'd be comfortable with. Perhaps YOU are the “secret” brother or sister?!

Well, inside the SMV studio, there has been a quiet rumor floating around for some time now that Marko actually has a “secret” half-brother from NYC that nobody knows about... until now!

Meet Mike Marino: The man behind PROSTHETIC RENAISSANCE and the one responsible for bringing you a large majority of Hollywood's the most incredible (...and F#%$@' disgusting!) special effects. Mike (or “American Marko” as we call him), dropped into the SMV studio last week and was greeted with gaping mouths, silence and long, perplexed stares from the SMV team. 

Now trust us, we know what you're thinking. However, seeing as both parties neither confirms nor denies the truth about their suspected relation, we're left to our own conclusions. We say, sombody's got some " 'splainin' to do!"

P.S: If you (like us) have ever wondered what Marko would've looked like as a “Jeresy Shore” cast member... this should put your mind to rest! Thanks for doing this Mike...

FUCKED UP FRIDAYS - DOUBLE SET

We're back!!! Sorry for the wait guys. This week's installment comes directly from our trip to gay old San Francisco...Literally!

Let's get to it...

1. "SMVBOT": A match made in Heaven.

Ever heard of the term "a marriage between companies"? Well, saying "goodbye" to our irresistible French lovers over at STEAMBOT STUDIOS, was just a little too much for us to handle. So much so that, like good families, we arranged for our dear, sweet little Matjosh (seen below bearing a striking resemblance to Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter!) to marry Steambot's wonderful resident hippie, that is Seb Larroude. What?! We were in San Francisco after all!

The ceremony was beautiful. We drank, we laughed and the happy couple left for their honeymoon. This is what happens when like minded people get together! Just wait until we start reproducing...

2. "ELECTRONIC CIGARETTES": Douche bag alert!

Ever seen those people smoking "E-Cigarettes"?!?! You know the ones we're talking about. Those smug little fuckers you see at restaurants, bus stops and on planes that "light up" their LED pens like c*nts, with that pedantic look on their faces like they're the lucky ones who can "smoke" when others can't and are stuck in the belief that they're actually going to quit smoking!

Well, you can imagine Emily's horror when her dear colleague (and now ex-friend) pulled one these "things" out in their hotel room and charged it up!! Here's how it went down:

Emily: What. The. Fuck dude!!

Yohann: What?

E: You're a douche!

Y: Just try it!

(Emily takes a drag and feels something resembling fiberglass going down her throat, mixed with some kind of melon flavour. Chokes uncontrollably for 5mins.)

E: WHATHEFUCK GUY!!?!
Y: It's liquid smoke (*smug d-bag look*). Don't like the flavour? It's Watermelon. I also have Vanilla and Mint.
E: WHAT!?! Why wouldn't you at least get "Smoke" flavour?!
Y: (Laughing)They didn't have it left.
E: You're a gay. I'm telling your wife and suffocating you in your sleep!

SF WORKSHOP RE-CAP

Umm, better late than never eh?!

As some of you know, the entire SMV team headed out to San Francisco last month to take part in the annual Massive Black Workshop (and general debauchery while we were at it...when in Rome and all that!).

Anywhooo, seeing old friends, making new ones, instructing, learning, drinking...drinking...drinking were all on the menu. Oh and there was also some intensely incredible art being done there too- if that's what you're into.

Big shout out to the entire Massive Black Inc. crew, The Steambot Frenchie massive (...and Manny too), The Academy of Art for housing us fools and to all the wonderful and talented attendees!...

Oh right, and that bartender at the hotel who took Emily's belligerent pestering to keep the bar open after hours every night... Big up to you bro!

If you were there, thank you. If you were not, fuck you...but here's what you missed.